Looking after number one

How can you possibly cope nowadays with the pressure of work in a City solicitor’s office? You are expected to put in seven or eight chargeable hours a day. On top of that you have to turn up for endless internal meetings. These cover boring things like know-how, appraisals, marketing, financial targets, contact and client databases, negligence claims, complaints of racial, sexual, religious, national, disability and age discrimination, and unfair dismissal claims from incompetent former staff.

So what’s the solution? You could give up the City and get a job as a “posh” plumber or in a provincial or suburban law firm. You would then endure the sneers and contempt of your former colleagues. Or you could have a breakdown, jump from a 10th floor window, take extra Prozac tablets, scream and shout at your secretary or trainee, or get help with (or get on with) your drinking problem.

There is a less drastic solution. You could become “incredibly busy”. Being incredibly busy is not the same thing as having too much work to do. It is a flexible concept: more a state of mind, an attitude to your work and a series of behaviour patterns. It also helps you to focus on your top priority, which is to make as much money as quickly as you can, so that you can retire at 40, start a relationship with someone in their 20s and buy a country palace outside East Grinstead and that Ferrari you’ve had your eyes on for some time.

To get to this point, the first priority is to let everyone know how busy you are. There are many ways to achieve this.
- Make sure everyone knows: Most obviously, make sure you tell people as often as possible how much you have got on and apologise for not being able to help them more. The joy of being incredibly busy is that it allows you to be as rude as you like to people.
- Never turn up on time: Never turn up on time for meetings—wait for people to come and drag you out of your office or turn up 15 minutes late, say that you’ve got to go to the loo and disappear for another 15 minutes. When you do arrive say that you’ve got to leave for another meeting in 10 minutes.
- Don't use a diary: Don’t use an electronic (or any other type of) diary. This surrenders too much control over your agenda. Make appointments with junior colleagues through your secretary, and then cancel them just before they are due because you are incredibly busy.
- Limit information flows: Don’t tell your secretary about all your movements. You want to be able to drop out of engagements when the need arises because you are double booked.
- Look the part: Go around the office as if all the cares of the world are on your shoulders. Don’t stop in the corridor for a chat—instead you should only barely acknowledge people’s existence or groan audibly when they try to speak to you.
- Use e-mail effectively: Sending curt one line messages to people is less effort than speaking to them, even if they are sharing your own room.

SENIORITY

In general, the more incredibly busy you are and the higher you are in the hierarchy of your firm, the more chaotic your working environment must be seen to be. The more conscious people are of how busy and important you are, the less likely they are to pester you, and the more likely they are to do as they are told without taking up your time.

Does this mean that junior lawyers can not themselves be “incredibly busy”? No. They have to cope with pressures from their colleagues too. They can use these tactics with anyone at the same level as they are or lower down the pecking order, particularly trainees. A junior lawyer can often get out of doing something by pointing out that it requires the co-operation of a senior colleague who will not be able to deal with it because he is incredibly busy. Better still explain that you will need help from two incredibly busy senior colleagues who hate each other’s guts and are not on talking terms.
The opportunities for trainees themselves to be incredibly busy are limited. The best way for them to relieve stress is by not turning up to training sessions.

They can explain that they are needed on a client matter. They should take care to leave it to the last and most awkward moment to ask the boss whether:
- to keep beavering away; or
- get trained on some skills which they know they will almost certainly never have to use.

No one ever got a salary rise or promotion from attending training sessions. Anyway, the best way of learning is by trial and error.

THE LOSERS: PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT INCREDIBLY BUSY

There are, however, some people in a lawyer’s office who, whatever their seniority and however busy they may be, are naturally polite and helpful. You need to use these people ruthlessly. That sounds cruel, but life, as Darwin said, is a struggle for survival. If you don’t look after number one, who else is going to?

Michael Tyndale is a consultant in legal stress management. E-mail: michaelt519@hotmail.com