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Dear Auntie

10 January 2008
Issue: 7303 / Categories: Opinion , Procedure & practice , Profession
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Pick of the week

 

 

 

Q. I do not regard myself as possessed of a weak bladder but 90 minutes into a not guilty plea, I find my concentration straying from the evidence to the nether re­gion. What do you recommend? Jason Pischer,

 

A. Bang your knees together when not examining a witness or addressing the court. If the presence of a neighbouring advo­cate makes this impractical, you should cast aside embarrassment and simply ask for a break or wink at the bench and ask for, more ambigu­ously, a wee break. Alternatively, seek a five minute adjournment on the ground that you must investigate a small point that has unex­pectedly cropped up.

Do not rush out of court as if you have a train to catch and ensure the state of your trousers on return does not give the game away, especially during the warmer weather when light-coloured and non-absorbent materials are fashionable.

 

Q. I am a lady of the Bar and eager to settle down with a soul

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