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Anywhere county court 2018: send in the clowns

10 February 2017 / Kerry Underwood
Issue: 7733 / Categories: Features
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A play by Kerry Underwood

The scene: One of the four remaining county courts. A personal injury small claim hearing is taking place.

 

Judge: “Good morning. Please introduce yourself.”

 

Claimant’s representative : “I am Fat Fred from the Dog and Duck.”

 

Judge : “I have a note from the Ipswich Union Insurance Company saying:

 

`Do your worst–£400.00. In fact as part of our corporate social responsibility kick throw in the extra £25.00 for the psychological injury—that will get a nice bunch of flowers.’”

 

Fat Fred: “I want as much as possible as quickly as possible. I am on 60% of damages.

 

Judge: “You mean 40% for you and 60% for your client?”

 

Fat Fred : “I know what I mean. I am a McKenzie Friend. I can do what I want.”

 

Judge : “I see. The medical evidence is from a Doctor Doolittle Is he here?”

 

Fat Fred : “Yes, that’s me. I am a McKenzie Doctor—cheaper and I just make the evidence up.”

 

Judge

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Lord Sales has been appointed to become the Deputy President of the Supreme Court after Lord Hodge retires at the end of the year
Limited liability partnerships (LLPs) are reportedly in the firing line in Chancellor Rachel Reeves upcoming Autumn budget
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